Stalking is a crime. A crime that affects victims’ freedom and safety. Unfortunately, stalking behavior is not always easy to classify. In order to take legal action against a stalker, collecting evidence is of great importance. We can help you.
Stalking comes in different types, ranging from cyberstalking, where someone is being harassed over the internet, to being followed. The result is always the same: when you get stalked you no longer feel safe.
Anne (32): It all started after we broke up. During our relationship, he was controlling and dominant and it was very difficult to end our relationship. He didn’t agree which was quite noticeable. He kept sending me text messages. At first I responded and made clear in my answers that I rather didn’t want any contact. He couldn’t accept that and instead of stopping it, I received loads of messages from him. One moment he was calling me all sorts of names, the other moment he was apologizing and the next moment he let me know how much he loved me. So in the end I didn't reply anymore. But it wasn’t over. Not at all.
Then the bullying started. I received packages I didn’t order. Once, within a week I found something in my mailbox every other day. Usually I am at work so many packages were delivered at my neighbor's house. It started to annoy the neighbors as well. When on a certain day several unknown men were calling me for a date, I found out that my profile and personal details were posted on a dating website. I was able to get remove it quickly but it happened two more times, on other websites. I felt really threatened. Of course, those men couldn’t do anything about it but I really got angry at a few of them. From that moment on I didn’t feel completely safe anymore.
That’s when I decided to contact my ex. To me it seemed a good idea to meet and ask him to stop harassing me. When we sat down in a little coffee shop, he was very normal and we were there like two friends having a good conversation. When I confronted him with his behavior, he made some remarks as if it had been a joke. Some kind of boyish pranks. I began to doubt myself. Was I just exaggerating? I then made it clear that I didn’t really like it and that I wanted it to be stopped.
Soon after that, he texted me to let me know how nice it was to see me again and he asked me if I felt the same. That it wasn’t over between us. My reply to him was that nothing had been changed for me. He couldn’t comprehend. This time I immediately stopped paying attention to him. I think that's why he went even further in his actions. To get that attention back.
Then I heard from friends that he had spread awful rumors about me. Most of them knew about how our relationship had ended so I was lucky that most people didn’t believe those made up stories. Suddenly he appeared everywhere. Places where I often go, but are not common ones for him. Close to my working place, at the music school where I take vocal lessons and also near my home. Sometimes I saw him only from a distance but sometimes he spoke to me. Definitely not pleasant conversations. Always angry and threatening. Every time I made sure I was gone as soon as possible. I was really scared to death a few times.
One night as I lay in bed, he stood at my house; I was really scared. He was continuously calling and texting that I had to open up the door. I heard him banging and yelling and I knew he was furious. It was horrible. I stayed in bed because I didn’t dare to open the door. For me it was clear. He couldn't let go. This could in no way be seen as a joke. The man I was so crazy about turned into a stalker.
What is stalking?
Someone keeps trying to contact you and you do not feel comfortable with it. It often starts with the attempts by someone to make unwanted contact with you e.g. someone repeatedly calls or texts you or sends you social media messages. Actions that are not illegal on their own unless you do not want to have contact, the perpetrators behavior is not desirable and it often occurs. Then this can be seen as stalking.
Most common forms of stalking are:
- making unwanted phone calls, e-mails, texts and social media messages
- using someone's online accounts without permission
- placing undesirable orders in someone else’s name
- sending undesirable gifts
- damaging or destructing property
- repeatedly waiting for and following someone
- taking unwanted photos of someone
- spreading nasty stories about someone
- threatening someone
The impact of stalking
If you are being stalked the behavior of the stalker often has a lot of impact on your life. You are feeling anxious, suspicious and powerless. It creates stress and you can even feel depressed.
We can help
Stories like these of Anne are very common. Often arising from previous personal relationships, but it also occurs in other situations. Most stalking does not end on its own. On the contrary, usually the stalkers’ behavior gets worse. With threats and even violence as a result. It is therefore important to suppress this behavior as quickly as possible.
European countries to fight stalking. So do not just walk around with this problem, but get help. Because the police often have little time or see no legal basis to investigate these complex issues, victims are advised to collect evidence by themselves. In order to prosecute a stalker, it is important to show how and often someone is harassing you. Borderless Investigations helps to identify the perpetrator and to gather evidence against him. In addition, we advise on legal action against the stalker.
Are you being stalked? Contact Borderless Investigations now for a cost and obligation free consultation.